Time and babies wait for no one
“These Are the Days” is one of my favorite songs by Van Morrison. I’m pretty sure I’ve used it as a post title before. It refers to the good days, but lately, I find myself thinking “these are the days…” from so many different angles. Sometimes, like tonight, when Alida is happily asleep while it’s still light, Jonathan is home and we are having a peaceful evening, these are the good days. Other times, when I’ve had oatmeal flung on me, Alida is pitching a fit because she can’t have my phone, and Jonathan won’t be home for 3 more days, these are also the days, but the days of learning patience and practicing love.
The feeling is subject to change three times before lunch/nap time, but regardless of the oatmeal and the fits, I know they are the good days. The days of having little lips offered without me asking, of watching as she pours water on a mirror in wonderment and feeling this other little girl growing inside of me. They are also the exhausted days, the achy days, the “this house is such a wreck” days. You can’t have one without the other.
I spent most of today looking for a hotel room in Boston. We were gifted a pair of tickets to the Red Sox game this week. To say Jonathan is a fan would be the understatement of the year. We are both really excited to be going. Not just to see the game at Fenway, but to spend some time away together and enjoy some New England fall weather. I waited a long time to get a room because we didn’t know what his schedule was like, but now it’s working out so we will get to visit friends and see the game.
Since writing my post about balance and boundaries, I have, for the most part, kept my laptop upstairs in the “office.” It helps me separate my Alida time and my work time. It also means that I don’t work while she is awake unless Jonathan is here, but knowing that has helped me focus my energy while she is asleep. Most of the time anyway. Sometimes I just veg.
I’m also learning that some things just don’t fit into my life right now – whether it’s because of time or because I have a little bitty and/or because I’m pregnant. I still overdo it sometimes, but it’s been a relief as I practice saying, “I can’t do this at this point in my life.” There are others who can and will and I need to leave it to them. (Evidently, doing anything quickly has become one of those things that just doesn’t fit right now, but that’s a whole other topic.)
Every week, I get an email that tells me what’s going on in my pregnancy. It was a little unnerving to get the 30 week one, and I’ve hardly even read it and now I have the 32 week one. As I watch other friends go from big bellied to carrying little babies, she becomes more real. I feel her move and see their little ones and realize there isn’t very much difference at this point. I try to imagine what she’ll look like, but as with Alida, I know I will never come close and she will be more amazing than my grandest imagination.
Seeing the clock tick closer has also made me realize how much we need to do. We don’t even have a name picked out. Fortunately, we have most, if not all of the gear we’ll need, but it would probably be a good idea to locate it at some point (preferably before I go into labor.) I still don’t think Alida knows what is about to happen, but she has started to reach for my belly when we ask where the baby is (though she did touch her own chest once recently.)
I hardly have any pictures to post these days since we are trying to ward of an iPhone addiction with Alida. Every time I get it out, she stops whatever cute thing she is doing and MUST HAVE IT. Hope you can enjoy this just being black and white for now.